Kim, Dawn and Mason

A place for me to share the next phase of our lives; being mommies to Mason!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

We Must Speak Up And Be Willing to Talk About Child Sexual Abuse


Many of us have been shocked to learn of the horrific child sexual abuse allegations recently brought to light at Penn State University. These reports leave us all wondering how such atrocities could happen. Sadly, the necessary steps to end the abuse were not taken, the offender was continually given access to children, and parents are left wondering how they can protect their own children.

The accused is a talented man who was revered by the public as a coach and trusted mentor for many years. Unfortunately, he allegedly breached that trust to gain access to children for his own gratification. Tragically, this scenario plays out all around us every day. Hundreds of thousands of children are sexually violated by adults every year and unbelievably, more than 90% of the time, the child is abused by someone the family knows and trusts. Shock, disbelief and outrage are the first reactions when we learn of child sexual abuse in the news . However appalling this particular incident is, it can serve as a stark reminder that adults must be able to recognize the signs, have the courage to react responsibly, and ultimately, prevent child sexual abuse before it happens in the first place.

As there are more than 42 million adults in America who were sexually abused as children, it is very likely that we all know someone who has abuse of this nature in his or her past. The immediate impact to a child is devastating, and the long term impact costs society more than $35 billion annually. Child sexual abuse is linked to mental health issues, teen pregnancy, violent crime, substance abuse and sex trafficking, among other harmful societal issues. The health and future of our society depend on a stronger resolve to protect kids from the scourge of sexual abuse.

Penn State’s culture of protecting colleagues and image seems to have eclipsed the instinct to protect children. Avoid embarrassment, handle things internally and hope it goes away is the classic, old-school response to child sexual abuse. Abusers depend on this cultural climate, as child sexual abuse thrives in an environment of denial and fear.

We should expect our youth-serving organizations to have policies that govern how adults may interact with youth. Further, these organizations should offer regular trainings to that no one is left wondering what their legal or moral obligation is when there is suspicion of abuse. The youth serving organizations should hold staff and volunteers accountable while our communities, parents and students in turn should hold these organizations accountable. Penn State could have benefitted from educating its staff and administrators so that witnesses would not have worried about losing their jobs by speaking up. Having protocols and procedures in place; and having their employees empowered to hold others accountable to those policies would have made all the difference in the lives of the children and families involved and the reputation of the institution.

At the Chapel Hill-Carrboro YMCA, we are committed to child protection and prevention of child sexual abuse. We have collaborated with Darkness to Light to spearhead the Stewards of Children initiative in our area, starting by training our in staff in the program, Stewards of Children is the only evidence-based training available nationally that is proven to increase knowledge and change child protective behavior. When adults actively seek to make a difference, a cultural change can occur. We’re working to shift from a norm where child sexual abuse is taboo and children are easy targets; to a community where every child is protected through a community of trained and aware adults. Knowledge is empowerment!

We encourage the public to continue the dialogue and find hope in the fact that there are things we all can do to reduce the risks in your homes, neighborhoods, and organizations. Get involved in your local school, church, youth service organization, youth camp or sports league to ensure that prevention is being addressed and comprehensive policies and training are in place to identify areas where the safety of children is not the first priority. This week’s news should emphasize the necessity to talk openly about this painful, uneasy subject. Now is the time to shine a bright spotlight on the much avoided subject of child sexual abuse. We must talk to our kids and each other about prevention. Public dialogue about child sexual abuse helps shape better societal beliefs and empowers individuals to take action. The more we talk openly about child sexual abuse signs or perpetrator patterns, the better we are able to recognize behavioral red flags and speak up for our kids.

As a mother to a precious 2 year old, an authorized facilitator for Darkness to Light and an employee of the Chapel Hill - Carrboro YMCA, I am committed to making my community a safer place for children.  If you are interested in learning more about how you can get involved and how you can make your community a safer place, please contact me via email at kgrooms@chcymca.org.

Until next time......

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